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I'll Take It
Paul Rudnick
They came. They saw. They came and took what they saw.

The Esker sisters are shoppers. Loving, caring, driven, merciless shoppers. Ida never "passes a store without slipping in and buying something to give away." Pola, who only buys in bulk, would have been good in foreign affairs: "If a nation acted up, Aunt Pola would buy it." And Hedy, dearest of them all, proved the whole thing was genetic. Or maybe environmental. Either way, she passed the bug of galloping consumption onto her son.

Her son is Joe Reckler. Twenty-six. Yale grad. No job. No ties. Nothing to keep him from joining Mother and the aunts on a week-long shopping extravaganza disguised as a New England Autumn Leaves Tour that takes them everywhere from Bloomingdale's to L. L. Bean. But soon Joe notices a difference between himself and his mega-shopping mentors. You see, he figures you're supposed to pay.
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