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| Where the Hell is Darcy? A Smutty Snorty Guide to Sex, Dating & Relationships
| | Kattykitt
| Product Description
Warning: This book is funny and very filthy- so don’t lend it to your granny...
Ladies- Admit it. Your love life has as much romance as a George Michael stroll on Hampstead Heath...
We know this because ours does too...
There are no solutions to rubbish relationships that don’t involve serious psychotherapy and nipple clamps, so bugger that.....
What we need is a smutty guide to understanding men, sex, dating & relationships that deals with real life...in all its spotty-arsed dweebness....
A comedy book that will make us snort while we eat cake, glug wine or shave our legs...
So here it is...and you can use the Click Inside Feature at the top of the page to have a sneaky peek inside too- Go on, have a rummage, free of charge!
If you are single, or your man is more Arsey than Darcy and you are stuck with Brian from Cleethorpes, Dan from Accounts or Julian from Brideshead Revisited, then buy this book!
Discover all this and much, much more:
- How to find your own gorgeous hunk of uselessness
- Why dating websites are the Devil’s testicles
- How to diagnose which sort of twat he is
- How to pretend you’re not deranged
- How to relieve the boredom during blow jobs
- What he’s thinking when he does that gormless face
- Why bondage is great if you’re lazy
- How to avoid traumatising him with your period
- Why his exes are deeply weird
- Why his mother hates you
- Why sex is just horizontal Riverdancing without the clogs
- Why weddings relieve the boredom of his Y-Fronts
- Why your bridesmaids need to look like baboons
- How to deal with cheating and getting pissed at Christmas
- Why revenge is fabulous
- How to get over him and how to get the bastard back
- How to grow old and fat with Mr Darcy
Kattykitt doesn’t promise to turn you into a love guru. To be honest, she doesn’t want the competition. Her Darcy is out there somewhere and she doesn’t want him falling for you...
But she does hope the book makes you giggle a bit though, because if your love life is half as dire as hers, that sure beats the hell out of rocking in a dark corner...
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