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| The Ghost Toucher
| | Gerald Rice
| "Haven't you ever picked up your keys for no reason and realized you had nowhere to go?" Israel asked. "Or picked up a pen and didn't have anything to write?""No," Kelly said."Sure you have. Everybody has. It's like having deja vu about deja vu.""What?" "You know-you remember remembering you've done a thing before, but you only remember remembering it when you're remembering it?""So when I'm not remembering it, I forget it?""You got it.""No. No, I don't."In a world where ghosts are an accepted reality, Stout Roost, reality star and host of the Network's The Ghost Toucher reality series has vanished. But Israel, the spiritual detective they hire, doesn't exactly have a plan to find him. Kelly Greene, a customer service rep, is tapped to assist the detective, but he quickly realizes that as far as unconventional methods go, Israel's are insane. He informs Kelly there is an afterworld and it was already populated by pesty ghosts. They also hate humans because they eventually become ghosts and are seeking a 'clean' way to exterminate us all. The two learn finding Stout is the least of their worries as they are pursued through metro-Detroit by obsessive compulsive wannabe warriors, mutants who worship an insane deity, weapons from the other side and a mysterious, perpetually pregnant, augmentative woman with a gender complex.
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